Life’s Core Attitudes
These attitudes are “ways of being”, we invite you to make them a part of your life. They are key on staying on track while cultivating loving presence. These attitudes are based on mindfulness attitudinal foundations as per Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book “Full Catastrophe Living”, University of Massachusetts and mPEAK’s University of Sand Diego.
Beginner’s Mind
The richness of present-moment experience is the richness of life itself. Too often we let our thinking and our beliefs about what we “know” prevent us from seeing things as they really are. We tend to take the ordinary for granted and fail to grasp the extraordinariness of the ordinary. To see the richness of the present moment, we need to cultivate what has been called “beginner’s mind,” a mind that is willing to see everything as if for the first time.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
On Your Own
The next time you see somebody who is familiar to you, ask yourself if you are seeing this person with fresh new eyes, as he or she really is, or if you are only seeing the reflexion of your own thoughts about this person, and your feelings as well.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
With Others
As you notice any preconceived ideas you might have about others, we invite you to accept those thoughts without judgement and to keep yourself open to new possibilities.
Non-Judging
We invite you to become aware of any judgements and see them as thoughts, allowing them to pass, instead of getting caught up in them. This is critical when finding our true authentic voice.
On Your Own
When meditating remind yourself that the practice involves suspending judgment and just watching whatever comes up, including your own judging thoughts, without pursuing them or acting on them in any way. Then go back to riding the waves of your breathing with full awareness again.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
With Others
We invite you to become aware of any judgements and see them as thoughts, allowing them to pass, instead of getting caught up in them. This is critical when we are sharing our experiences with one another, and it lays a clear foundation of safety for each other.
Acceptance
Acceptance is a very active process, there is nothing passive about it, it’s not passive resignation but an act of recognition that things are the way they are… Acceptance doesn’t mean we cant work to change the world, or circumstances, but it means that unless we accept things as they are, we will try to force things to be as they are not and that can create an enormous amount of difficulty. ~Jon Kabat-Zinn
In other words: Acknowledge that things are hard if they are, but take your time with how you feel and then take action.
On Your Own
We can be sure of one thing, namely, that whatever we are attending to in this moment will change, giving us the opportunity to practice accepting whatever it is that will emerge in the next moment.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
With Others
We invite you to practice accepting yourself, even the things that you consider unpleasant, unhelpful or inauthentic. By having this attitude towards yourself, you will open a door of acceptance towards others.
Patience
Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time. A child may try to help a butterfly to emerge by breaking open its chrysalis. Usually, the butterfly doesn’t benefit from this. Any adult knows that the butterfly can only emerge in its own time, that the process cannot be hurried.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
On Your Own
To be patient is simply to be completely open to each moment, accepting it in its fullness, knowing that, like the butterfly, things can only unfold in their own time.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
With Others
We invite you to be patient with yourself and others when faced with a difficult emotion, allowing for some time to be with things as they are, holding yourself and others with kindness and compassion.
Trust
Developing a basic trust in yourself and your feelings is an integral part of meditation training. It is far better to trust in your intuition and your own authority, even if you make some “mistakes” along the way, than always to look outside of yourself for guidance. If at any time something doesn’t feel right to you, why not honor your feelings? Why should you discount them or write them off as invalid because some authority or some group of people think or say differently? This attitude of trusting yourself and your own basic wisdom and goodness is very important in all aspects of the meditation practice.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
On Your Own
Your only hope is to become more fully yourself. Anybody who is imitating somebody else, no matter who it is, is heading in the wrong direction. It is impossible to become like somebody else. Your only hope is to become more fully yourself…Learning to listen and trust your own being. The more you cultivate this trust in yourself, the easier you will find it will be to trust other people more and to see their basic goodness as well.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
With Others
We trust that you have the answers and know what is best for you. You are the only one that can truly know what you need. In the same way we ask that you trust others to have their own answers, and to allow them to reach these answers on their own without external advice or help.
Non-Striving
As you will see with practice, in the meditative domain, the best way to achieve your own goals is to back off from striving for results and instead to start focusing carefully on seeing and accepting things as they are, moment by moment. With patience and regular practice, movement toward your goals will take place by itself. This movement becomes an unfolding that you are inviting to happen within you.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
On Your Own
It has no goal other than for you to be yourself. The irony is that you already are.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
With Others
We are all at different stages in our practice. As you practice balancing your own effort, you also create the space for others to do the same.
Letting-go
Letting go is a way of letting things be, of accepting things as they are. When we observe our mind grasping and pushing away, we remind ourselves to let go of those impulses on purpose, just to see what will happen if we do. When we find ourselves judging our experience we let go of those judging thoughts. We recognize them and we just don’t pursue them any further, we let them be, and in doing so, we let them go.
…We direct our attention to what holding on feels like, holding on is the opposite to letting go.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
On Your Own
If we try to force ourselves to sleep, it just makes things worse. So if you can go to sleep, you are already an expert at letting go, now you just need to practice applying this skill in waking situations as well.
~Jon Kabat-Zinn
With Others
Letting go allows for new opportunities and experiences. We invite you to experience the moment as a blank canvas, and allow for any ideas you might have about the unfolding of our time together to be noticed without holding on to these ideas too tight.
Gratitude
Gratitude is an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received. We recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves. … We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mindset—gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.
~Robert Emmons
On Your Own
The simple act of appreciating the moment exactly as it is.
With Others
As we practice together we cultivate a sense of gratitude towards ourselves and others for setting this time aside to practice together.
Courage
Acknowledging that there might be fear is the first step, but then moving forward anyway. As you move through fear become curious, get to know yours fears, this knowledge open the gates to a liberating life.
On Your Own
Courage doesn’t mean that you move through carelessly, it means that you take all the measurements necessary to carry over while you move forward.
With Others
While in the presence of others, have the courage to be curious about their being, noticing if there are any pre-conceived ideas that are keeping you from seeing their beauty even if this beauty is not apparent at first sight.
Balanced Effort
Becoming aware of how much effort one is putting into living a wholesome life, in this case the effort to change old unhelpful habit patterns of the mind through the practice of meditation and contemplation.
In other words, Noticing how much effort you are putting into bringing yourself back to the present and to your commitment to yourself.
On Your Own
Balanced Effort means to be able to encourage yourself to cultivate presence and skillful ways of being, even when everything else seems to be more important by recognizing that there is nothing more important than yourself and your healing.
With Others
While in the presence of others balanced effort is practiced by staying present in conversation and communication and asserting yourself through wisdom and not impulse.
Impulse can come up as a need to shout or yell or curse or even hit. Wisdom rises when you take your time before reacting.
Focus
Staying here in the NOW. Sustaining your attention on what is around you, remaining present moment by moment.
On Your Own
We invite you notice when you are loosing sight of yourself, when distraction is taking you into habits that no longer serve you, so you can bring your attention back to the present moment.
Maintaining your attention on what is around you, starting with your body, notice your feet, feeling through your legs and arms, become aware of what you see, smell, taste, hear and sense.
With Others
Stay connected with others around you, fully engaged while in their presence as if nothing else mattered. Because nothing else does.
Discipline
Managing impulses, and making choices that are consisting with your intentions. Remembering commitments and coming back to them.
On Your Own
We invite you to remember your commitment to yourself, and honor it by being aware of any impulses that are not sustaining of you living in authenticity.
With Others
Check in with yourself while with others, if you notice agitation or withdrawal, take a moment to honor how you feel and come back to your intention to live an authentic life. This also goes by reacting to your impulses, seeing if instead you can knowledge the habit to react.